How Mediation Works

What Is Family Mediation?

Mediation in times of conflict and disagreement provides a structured space to voice concerns and work through issues constructively. Rather than escalating disputes, it focuses on clear communication, practical discussion, and reaching agreements that work for everyone involved.

A trained, impartial mediator supports the conversation but does not take sides or make decisions. Their role is to keep discussions focused, help clarify key issues, and ensure both parties are heard. You remain in control of the outcome, deciding what is acceptable and workable for your situation.

Compared to going to court, mediation is typically faster, less expensive, and less adversarial. It reduces conflict while supporting workable solutions, particularly where ongoing relationships such as co-parenting need to continue.

The Mediation Process

Step 1: Book Your MIAM

Everything starts with a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting). This is a confidential, one-to-one meeting where you speak with a trained mediator about your situation. You can book online and attend via video call from anywhere in the UK.

Step 2: Attend Your MIAM

The MIAM lasts around 45 to 60 minutes. Your mediator will listen to your situation, explain how mediation works, and assess whether it is suitable for your circumstances. They will also check for any safeguarding concerns and explain costs, including whether you may be eligible for the £500 voucher scheme or legal aid.

The MIAM is private. The other party is not present. There is no pressure to agree to anything.

Step 3: Joint Mediation Sessions

If both parties agree to try mediation, joint sessions are arranged. These can take place online or in person, together in the same room or in separate spaces (shuttle mediation).

Most families need between 2 and 4 sessions. Each session typically lasts around 90 minutes. Your mediator will guide the conversation, help you focus on the key issues, and support you in exploring options that work for both sides.

You are always in control. The mediator does not impose solutions or tell you what to do.

Step 4: Reaching an Agreement

If you reach an agreement through mediation, your mediator can prepare a written summary of what has been agreed. This is sometimes called a Memorandum of Understanding.

If your agreement relates to finances or property, you may want to have it made legally binding through a consent order. Your mediator can explain how this works, though you will need independent legal advice to finalise it.

If mediation is not suitable, or the other party does not want to take part, your mediator will sign the relevant section of your C100 or Form A so you can proceed to court.

Why Mediation Works

Over 70% of cases that go through family mediation result in a successful agreement, according to the Family Mediation Council. These are agreements that both parties have shaped and committed to, which means they are far more likely to last than court-imposed orders.

Mediation is not about giving in or compromising on things that matter. It is about having a structured, guided conversation with the help of a trained professional, so that you can reach practical solutions that work for your family.

Mediation vs Court

Going to family court is stressful, expensive, and slow. Here is how mediation compares:

• Cost: Mediation typically costs £500 to £2,000 total. Court proceedings can cost £5,000 to £30,000 or more per person, according to GOV.UK.
• Timeline: Mediation usually takes 6 to 12 weeks. Court cases often take 12 to 18 months or longer.
• Control: In mediation, you and the other party decide the outcome. In court, a judge decides for you.
• Confidentiality: Mediation is completely confidential. Court proceedings are formal and on record.
• Tone: Mediation is collaborative and problem-solving. Court is adversarial.
• Children: Mediation shields children from conflict. Court often involves children through Cafcass reports.

What Mediation Can Help With

• Where your children will live and how they spend time with each parent
• Holiday and school arrangements
• Division of property, pensions, savings, and debts
• Spousal maintenance
• Communication between separated parents
• Any other family dispute where both parties are willing to talk

Related Guides

• What Is a MIAM? – Everything you need to know about MIAMs
• Child Arrangements – How mediation helps with custody and contact
• Financial Mediation – Dividing property, pensions, and assets
• £500 Voucher Scheme – Government funding for mediation
• Pricing – Our fee structure

Ready to get started? Book your free 15-minute chat to discuss your situation.